I imagined an insect-like claw reaching out from under my bed and closing around my ankle … Afterwards, having gathered together the strands of cour...ge enough to scuttle across six feet of carpet to switch on the light and eventually check down there, I’d have to search the rest of the house. I looked in cupboards, behind doors, and I even checked the fridge. Now the problem was, because I’d been away from the bedroom, I imagined that the thing had taken the opportunity to hide under the bed. My jaw almost hit the ground when I saw my hunky neighbour mowing his lawn, topless. Observing me, he walked over to the fence and introduced himself as Tristan, before welcoming me to the neighbourhood. Tristan ticked every one of my boxes. He was big, broad, butch, and beautiful, the personification of what a man should look like. No sooner had we begun chatting before his wife, Debbie, who was the poster girl for petite pretty blonds, joined us. I was summarily invited over to them drinks at. More

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