. you just only had sex with yourself!”“Sam!” I yelled.“Hey, it’s no big deal. Everybody does it. According to Miss Simpson, my health teach...r, it’s a normal method of dealing with sexual stress.” She put a finger to her lips and went “Shhhh. Nobody’s supposed to know she said that. She said she might get fired if anybody finds out.”I was still trying to process the idea that Sam not only knew I probably masturbated, but that it sounded like maybe she did, too. This was blowing my mind.“Then. Is unacceptable.Yes, my Lord. Please.Another shocking event. Cats don't beg. Dogs beg ... cats finagle. The world has tilted from 23 degrees to 25 and is coming to an end."Good Lord, Pyewacket ... where's your dignity?" I said.Shut up, you."If I give you color, I have to change your eyes." He pointed at me. "Your eyes will look like his." Round?" asked Pyewacket."Yes, and ice blue ... just like his."You might as well go the whole way and make me human."You'd love that, wouldn't you, Pyewacket.. More

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