When it’s over I have to bite my lip in order to say anything of it and I don’t know why. Once Alex is dressed again he asks if he can take a pee... at the painting so far. Immediately, I cover the canvas with cloth. ‘No,’ I say, probably too harshly. ‘Not yet.’ He shrugs it off. ‘When you’re ready, then?’ ‘Maybe.’ He only nods and turns to leave. ‘Do you want to go for a drink?’ The question just spills out of my mouth. It stops him, at least, but when he looks back at me there’s another smile. He looked at me like I was an alien, and before long, it was time to leave. I got home and wondered about what had happened. Why had he reacted the way he did? What was so wrong about what had happened? I didn’t understand. I decided I would take a shower. Once in I let the water fall over me, but the thoughts about what happened bothered me. I got out, dried myself off, and hung the towel up. I checked out myself in the mirror, lifted my left breast and checked a mole that I had been. More

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