It was about then that I realized I had begun lusting for my mother. The fact that it was impossible didn’t dim my desire and at 14 I was almost con...umed by it, she was the star of every sexual fantasy I began to jerk off. With her youth and good looks it was impossible for my mother chaste, but to protect her reputation and not embarrass me she was discrete, going into nearby Boston for assignations. The night both our worlds turned around when she came home I was still awake reading and she. She started having 'moods'. That's the only way I can describe it — moods. She would be happy one day and then halfway through the next day she would all of a sudden become pensive, moody, and standoffish or, hell, I can't explain it; it was like suddenly she wasn't even there. I'd ask her if something was wrong and her eyes would blink and suddenly she was back from wherever it was she had been and she would say, "No, nothing wrong, just something at work I forgot to do" or something like. More

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