I was alsoadamant that, I wouldn't wear a bra. That resulted in severe back pain.Wearing drab male clothes were making me sad too. I missed putting on...akeup on my face and the flowery smells of lotions and perfumes. I hatedmy hair every time I saw myself in the mirror. All of that made me cry alot. Jealousy, that was building in me seeing Jessie dress in varioussarees and churidars pushed me to the brink. I couldn't take it anymore.One day, when Jessie was gone to her classes, I put on her. But I had this problem of the identitythat I had carried for the last twenty years of my life. Stan asked if Iwanted to make the change permanent. On one hand, the answer was, "God,yes!" and on the other hand, it would mean changing everything...But we were smart. Between the two of us, we would come up withsomething.After the first one, we had a lot of evenings like that. And not justevenings. Steven taught me about daytime makeup, too. I acquired quitea collection of women's wear. . More

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