Why I returned to the secrecy that caused so manyproblems last time. Well, the fact of the matter is that I feel guiltevery single day. Guilt that I...ve had all of these clothes hidden up tonow and guilt that, even when I'm not wearing them, I wish I was. Andmost of all, guilt that I couldn't be trusted to keep the promise I madeto you. I could have dealt with that guilt in an instant by confessingall and accepting the consequences.The truth is that I knew that confessing again would have. "I have to do this they are making fun of me in the hood," he said."Go home and tell them you kicked my ass, I will back you up. You don't have to die for this," I said. I was a breath away from raising the derringer and ending his life, when he turned and walked away.It was only a few days till the elections and I didn't need his blood on my hands. I went home. I went to bed, but I couldn't sleep. I had a bad, bad feeling about Mateo. Some guys just can't stand to have even a rumor going. More

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