She drew away from him and would not let Joel come near her for a while. But she didn't tell him to leave. She didn't want him to leave. She did...'t know what she really did want. She wanted several contradictory things from one moment to the next. Joel left after a while, and Lucy hid from him for two weeks, not answering the telephone at night or responding to his letters. When she did talk to him, she let him know about the ambivalence she felt and she asked him to try to. Mildred, Tom and me were always close, we went everywhere together, we did everything as one, like Dumas’ Musketeers. When we reached puberty, it dawned on us that Mildred gradually became a lot less like us and relatively more attractive, and Tom and I turned into rivals for her affections. As you know, Mild and I became more intimate, mainly through the medium of dance.”“And you asked her to marry you?”“I did, and she accepted, sort of.”“Sort of? What does that mean?”“When we were about 13. More

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