“I figure that you would eventually remarry and I don’t want some other wanker using my stuff”. She looked at me and said: “What makes you thi...k I’d marry another wanker?”Sent my washing to the cleaners the other day with a note enclosed ‘use more soap powder on pants’. When the laundry came back there was another note attached ‘use more paper on arse’.I asked my Kiwi mate how many sexual partners he’d had, he started counting and then drifted off to sleep.A bloke’s son fell asleep at a party,. "I made a circuit of the compound and eventually caught up with Carmen Sanchez as she paced off her beat."How are you holding up, Ms. Sanchez?" I asked, after the formalities of the challenge/response had been completed."I'm not the best I've ever been, Mr. Thompson," she answered, "but I'll survive. Jorge wasn't much, but he was all I had. It's funny. Seems like we fought every time we were together, but I still miss the bastard, you know?"This was a little more than I intended to solicit,. More

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