" I stand up, towering over her, reaching around behind her and sweep the papers off my desktop and onto the carpeted floor. With my hands around her ...ips, I lift her up to be seated on the edge of the desk in front of my chair. She tries to keep her legs together but as I lower myself to sit down again I run my hands over her upper thighs down to her knees, spreading her legs slightly, forming a small v before me. "Open them wider now." Her thighs fall open trembling as I put my finger into. 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?6. Was learning cursive really necessary?7. Map Quest or Google Maps really need to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you. More

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