"It did. My syntax was terrible, the dialog was flat and so on and so-forth (my main character had three different names.)* There was one in particula... by a "Vickie" that hit the nail on the head. The nicest part: "You're so self-consciously self-contradictory, self-vaunting and self-evasive, I hardly know where to begin. So I'll won't begin. I'll end.Forget yourself. Just write the best you know how and let your readersjudge. Some will be grateful." Vickie, keep on writing. Every paragraphwas. Mary was average and not anything to get excited about. Mary let me in and we went right to work picking out clothes. After we gathered several we went to the dressing room to try them on. To make things go quicker Mary went into the dressing room with me. I thought it a little strange but was not too worried. The dressing room was old school, it was larger than regular dressing rooms with a bench and several mirrors and the door closed off the room for privacy. Mary and I tried on several. More

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