But at that point in my life, Iwas still way too immature to be able to trust anything other than myown feelings. I'd already gotten myself into troub...e with Mark over Rob,but in my own peculiar twisted way I came to see the destructive outcomeof that crush as a good thing - after all, didn't it force Mark to comeclean with me about his sexuality, saving me from all kinds of futureheartbreak? And as Mom had pointed out, didn't the breakup let me offthe hook with the McCowans? Yes, it was a lot. Fear clouded my clarity. It could make me hesitate at a critical moment, and Callie’s life was at risk.I’d failed. Grand plans had been overly optimistic. I’d been naïve. I’d let myself relax and actually enjoy myself. I’d been unprofessional in the extreme and Callie was paying the price for my mistake. Fuck! What an idiot!I replayed the conversation with Lucas Smith. Something he’d said bothered me. It took a while before I got it. He’d asked for the microdot and two memory sticks. Two!Pride. More

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