In other human terms, I had to forgive myself now, and try to resolve it later. I did just that. Sitting at the foot of my bed and looking out over th... street. I just said to myself, "You have done worse girl. Maybe this is the worst thing you have done to yourself, but by far it isn't the worst thing you have done overall. You will get past the self loathing, you always have. Put it behind you and get your eye back on the job at hand." And I did just that.I sat there looking at the occasional. I realize now that she is a ghost and I feel pity for her. I tear my eyes away, tears threatening my edges before I am promptly returned back to the present. I am at a loss for words. All of those innocent people dead, and for what reason I do not know. I have to choke back some vomit before I notice she is staring at me expectantly. I inquire, "Why are you here and they aren't?" She looks at me with such sorrow that it snaps one of my heart strings and I can't but feel sorry for her. "They've. More

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