‘What is the matter with you? I have never felt you so distant. Every time I try to kiss you, you seem very distant and cold.’ ‘I am just tired ...nd these drugs have my mind out in left field,’ I said, very apologetic. The truth was I was almost scared of him. A relationship cannot work if fear is involved. I had to talk to him. The ride back to the hotel was very quiet. I think in the five-minute ride I actually fell asleep. I really was tired. I was also not thinking straight. He helped me out. Nate preferred to carry and pay in cash at most places. It was a habit he learned from his now deceased father. Of course, he had a bank account. But, like most Americans, the balance was usually pretty low right before a payday – especially since he had moved and not been paid in three weeks. The final check from the last job included some unused vacation time so it wasn’t all bad. He just felt like a leech since he hadn’t kicked in on rent or any major bills just yet. He had done a big round. More

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