The drinker says "Who's buying the next round?"The poor person says "I'd rather have a glass half-empty than no glass at all."The rich person says "Yo... can have whatever water trickles over the edge"The drunk says: Which glass?The Plumber says: You've got a leak.This one is compliments of DonYou Might Be A Conservative if...You've named your kids "Deduction one" and"Deduction two."You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum. Or as close to "focus" as myneural inhibitors would allow, I reminded myself with a shudder.And, to top it off, Kristen was already scolding me."I said get up, Barbie doll," she said with annoyance. "And set yourown alarm tomorrow. I'm your roommate, not your butler."Eventually, with a little more prodding, I stumbled into the bathroom,leaving a trail of the night's exfoliated body glitter covering thesheets behind me.Staring into the mirror, I was a mess. Still in yesterday's clothes,. More

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