I won you in some radio contest and I'm going to sell you on eBay in a few days. You're worth more money than I've ever seen in my life, and I can fin...lly afford a new car and pay off a big chunk of my mortgage." Oh," she said. "I thought you liked me. I was looking forward to being fucked in all my holes by my new owner, but if you don't want me, I'll accept that." Look, I'm sorry. But I know you're not really aware of this conversation."She raised her eyebrows. "What do you mean?" I know. Most of the threats made in the note sounded super fake, but I rolled with it mostly out of boredom. The Form was super bureaucratic, which was a little surprising given its contents: a series of half baked ideas that sounded like someone's masturbatory fantasies.It was divided into three sections: Boons, Curses, and Items. Boons and Items had costs associated with them, and Curses had prizes. The Form noted that I was owed credit by the universe, which is why I was required to fill it out, and. More

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