. November 30th, 1:01 PMVoices... a clicking sound, a wooden clunk, silence. I felt like I wasin a fog, a hot sweaty fog. I laid a hand over my fore...ead and feltsweat on my brow. I felt kind of dizzy just laying here and wonderedwhat the problem was, then remembered I had taken some thing, what?Hydrocodone, right? How long have I been out? I looked at the clockand calculated I had been sleeping for about two hours. No, three. Ineeded to pee, but I didn't want to get up. Would I even be. And then you were gone.When I came back to the cocoon that night, something was different... Icouldn't feel you anywhere.I redoubled my efforts on the prayer thing for months, even years. Butsomething was different... something was definitely different. I cansee through the lens of history that a deep depression had set in. Thecycle of highs and lows lasted well into adulthood. Over the years myexperiences with the church certainly soured me on the catholicapproach to God. In fact, it may be. More

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