.. how could I be so stupid..."This emotional outpouring is enough to have me rushing to her side, my arms embracing her, she slips her arms about me,...her face pressed into my chest. She pulls away after some minutes and wipes her tears from her flushed cheeks, "Could we talk about what happened honey? I need to talk to someone and I know it's unfair..." Sure mom." Mother always wanted to talk about 'it'- whatever that topic was.She smiles thankfully at me. We leave our half-eaten meals and go. The third day of losing my lunch (and breakfast and dinner), I decided to self medicate myself because I couldnt work, no work meant not paying bills and I couldnt have that. I had some left over meds in the medicine cabinet from when I blew my knee out in college and had to see a doctor, a few years ago I had an infection in the knee, so I had some left over antibiotics. I made myself a nice cocktail of four or five different pills, including some potent painkillers and went to bed. I wasnt. More

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