But now, all I have is a life I sentenced myself to because I was going to be responsible for the children I brought into this world. I am a Father an... I am a Dad. I wanted to be part of their lives and not at the edge but the center as it should be. So I stayed. I sometimes wonder about this decision. Was it worth it? I am now turning 50 years old and my life is normal from an external viewpoint but internally, inside me? I am a mess. I need some tenderness and understanding and physical. "That's good, baby. But when you graduate from high school, he's gonna be forty. Do you want a forty year old husband when you're eighteen?" Mizz Deb," Ronni countered, "Other than the occasional run-in with a pickup truck, he's healthy. I figure he's gonna make eighty, easy. That's gonna give me forty good years with 'im. You an' I both know marriages that didn't make a tenth that." That's the point, Ronni," Deb said. "I was here when that happened. He went to pieces. I don't want that to. More

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