‘Unzip my dress.’ The zipper pulled smoothly down her spine, and just like that, he was looking at her black bra and bare skin. She didn’t make...a move, but only continued to lean against the glass. Martin felt something visceral compel him to push the straps off her strong shoulders. Cindy moved her arm from the glass, and the dress fell to the floor like a feather. Nothing seemed real. He knew he should pull her to him, like they do in the movies, followed by a wonderful time of giving into. I’m so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.The other day I came home early and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, ‘Why?’ He said, ‘Because you came home early.’My wife’s such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.I know I’m not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.My wife is such a bad cook. In my house we pray after the meal.My wife likes to talk to me during sex; last night she called me from a hotel.It’s been a. More

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