No point in risking provoking him by breaking the rules before I get to say my piece. I wouldn’t re-empt what I was intending to lead up to so caref...lly. No, I’d stay fully dressed as usual. This was a winning plan. Defuse the argument and in so doing break this cycle into which we’d both become locked. I walked into the living room brightly, kissed him on the forehead and my plan appeared to go pretty well as I’d prepared it. He was reacting positively, if saying little, and took my hand. It was 3:30 AM and I had to work the next day so I told him to meet the next night.I chickened out. I got over my horniness and didn’t email him back. A few days went by and he emailed hoping I’d reconsider and I was feeling it again so I had him come to the room the last night in Florida. It was 2 AM, I saw his car pull up and was nervous. Inviting a stranger over to be sexual with always would get me anxious. I didn’t do it a lot but loved the rush, and loved the experience being with a man.. More

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